Jim Frankenfield - Humor Pages[Home] - Get me out of here Disclaimer - I did not write any of the humor in this archive, all of it came via email over the last 20+ years. I post it here for you amusement. Some may be political, some you may not find very funny. Don't blame me! And if it is political do not assume I agree or disagree with the viewpoint. I just thought it was amusing. Office Sign Puns(The best is saved for last!) ************************** Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.' ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: 'Time wounds all heels.' ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a Proctologist's door: 'To expedite your visit, please back in.' ************************** On a Plumber's truck: 'We repair what your husband fixed.' ************************** On another Plumber's truck: 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.' ************************** On a Church's Bill board: '7 days without God makes one weak.' ************************** At a Tire Shop 'Invite us to your next blowout.' ************************** At a Towing company: 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.' ************************** On an Electrician's truck: 'Let us remove your shorts.' ************************** In a Non-smoking Area: 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.' ************************** On a Maternity Room door: 'Push. Push. Push.' ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.' ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.' ************************** On a Fence: 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!' ************************** At a Car Dealership: 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.' ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: 'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' ************************** At the Electric Company 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.' ************************** In a Restaurant window: 'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.' ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.' ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: 'Thank heaven for little grills.' ************************** And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP : 'Best place in town to take a leak.' ********************** Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: 'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises' Main Humor Page |