Jim Frankenfield - Humor Pages

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Disclaimer - I did not write any of the humor in this archive, all of it came via email over the last 20+ years. I post it here for you amusement. Some may be political, some you may not find very funny. Don't blame me! And if it is political do not assume I agree or disagree with the viewpoint. I just thought it was amusing.

Actual Newspaper Headlines

A brief look at the lighter side of contemporary journalism:
50 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by real journalists):

  1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
  2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
  7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
  9. Stud Tires Out
  10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
  12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
  13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
  14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
  15. Eye Drops off Shelf
  16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
  21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
  22. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
  23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
  25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
  28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
  29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
  30. War Dims Hope for Peace
  31. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
  32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
  34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  35. Deer Kill 17,000
  36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
  42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
  43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
  45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
  46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
  49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
  50. Air Head Fired


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