Jim Frankenfield - Humor Pages[Home] - Get me out of here Disclaimer - I did not write any of the humor in this archive, all of it came via email over the last 20+ years. I post it here for you amusement. Some may be political, some you may not find very funny. Don't blame me! And if it is political do not assume I agree or disagree with the viewpoint. I just thought it was amusing. The Porsche and the MopedA young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. It is one of the fastest and most expensive cars in the world, and it costs around $100,000. ___ _-_- _/\______\\__ _-_-__ / ,-. -|- ,-.`-. _-_- `( o )----( o )-' `-' `-' He takes it out for a spin and, while stopped at a red light, an old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. _ )/___ __/(___)#####c / /\\|| \ / \ \__/ ---- \__/~~~~~ The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" __ .' '. : : | _ _ | .-.|(o)(o)|.-. ( ( | .--. | ) ) '-/ ( ) \-' / '--' \ \ `"===="` / `\ /' `\ /' /`-.-`\_ _.__;\._/V\_./:__._ .'/;||:;\ /^\ /:;||:\'. / /;:||;:;\| |/:;:||;:\ \ / /;:;||:;:;\_/:;:;||:;:\ \ The young man replies "A 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. It costs $100,000." "That's a lot of money," replies the old man. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 180 miles an hour!" states the young man proudly. The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?" "Sure," replies the owner. .+~`~+. |_ o o _| `.\___/,' ~---~ So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says,"That's a pretty nice car, all right!" Just then, the light changes, so the young guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 10 seconds the speedometer reads 120 MPH. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- /|\ / \ ' ' ' '' / | \ ' ______________________________ ' ' ' / \ ' | | / | \ ' ' | SPEED LIMIT | ' / \ |. | / | \ ' | 65 | . ' / \ ' | | ' / | \ | Please buckle up | ' ' / \ ' '| ____________________________ | / | \ ' || ' || ' ' / \ || ' || ' ' / | \ || || ' . / \ . . '' / | \ ' Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Porsche 911 Turbo?" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. (..) 0 ____ 0 \ / __ \ / --/ (__) \-- =\ /= -|--|- | |##| | \ ## / ## Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! __._. __.. O ____ ._.. /\, -|~(*) :::::::::. (*) :::::::::::............ "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Porsche 911 Turbo?" Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh ka-blaMMM! It plows into the back of his car. * ! ! / \ > \ l / " % -- ^ __ Q * --&{' * > # / ! \ < / The young man jumps out and looks. It is, in fact, the old man!!! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurtin' for certain. He runs up to the old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man groans and then replies, "Yep ......... UNHOOK MY SUSPENDERS FROM YOUR SIDE VIEW MIRROR!!!!" Main Humor Page |